There is often the chance that characters’ stories will include romance. Sometimes this is handled in backstories and that’s the end of it. Other times there will be a series of events that bring about romance in game. To preserve the safety and comfort of this community, we have put together a clear guide on how this can be handled in order to minimize anything that could follow a character’s romantic arc.
Address the IC feelings OOC as soon as possible.
Unless you have a standing agreement with the player of another character that romantic roleplay is welcome, share that you wish to pursue romantic roleplay with the other player(s) as soon as possible. Communication and consent are the most important aspects of handling romantic roleplay. While anyone can get wrapped up in a scene and may seem enthusiastic about where it might be leading, it is still important to confirm OOG that this is what the other player(s) want.
Likewise, advocate for yourself if this is not RP that you want to engage in. If you do not consent to romantic roleplay for any reason, inform whoever is initiating it OOG. If they know you are uncomfortable and pursue it anyways, that is a rules violation and you should inform a game runner.
Ask questions.
Anyone involved in romantic roleplay should ask each other questions about what did, could, might, or will happen IG. These could be questions like: ‘Should this be long term or a one-off?’ ‘What would you like to get out of this roleplay?’ ‘How would our characters handle [x]?’ ‘Did you enjoy that scene we did or should we change it?’ ‘What is the dynamic we’re going for?’ If these questions haven’t been asked and answered, please try to initiate the conversation.
Seek consent frequently.
Consent should be requested before any changes (especially any escalation) in behavior. This can be handled IG but should also always be confirmed OOG. Any players and characters involved may revoke consent to participate in romantic roleplay at any time. Once consent is revoked, there should be no ramifications that befall the one revoking, IG or OOG, unless agreed upon by both parties.
Respect boundaries.
All romantic roleplay should have established boundaries. This could be as simple as whether or not the characters hold hands, if love letters are allowed, if between-game roleplay is okay and what kind, etc. Everyone involved should be clear about their boundaries and reevaluate them as often as needed.
Decompress together.
Before game, after game or between intense scenes, it is always a good idea to chill out and have a bit of time to evaluate the situation. Anyone can ask for decompression time in order to adjust themselves to a clearer headspace. Additionally, this can help dispel any bleed that may come as a result of roleplay.
Remain aware of OOG.
Sometimes a person’s engagement with romantic roleplay can spill into their real life in unexpected ways. If a person is involved in a real life relationship with another person who isn’t involved in the IG relationship, please take some time to discuss their comfort level as well. If possible, invite them into these conversations so that IG happenings do not spoil OOG life.
These are the rules we expect all members of the community to follow. Violation of these guidelines will result in an investigation, intervention by staff, and possible suspension or ban. Romantic roleplay must remain safe for all those involved at all times.
Sometimes a PC will be romantically interested in an NPC. This should be addressed with both the NPC and a Plot Team member who can outline what is and isn’t appropriate for the story that NPC is being used to tell. While this dynamic isn’t discouraged, there are several additional variables that come into play on top of what has already been discussed above.
NPCs are controlled by Plot Team. What that NPC does and doesn’t do is ultimately decided by them. As such, Plot Team can veto certain decisions if they see that it is necessary.
Communications between PCs and NPCs should always be disclosed to Plot Team. Any roleplay, especially between games, that is not overseen or approved by Plot is a violation of the NPC Guidelines and should be reported to Plot Team or game runners.
NPC players are allowed to revoke consent at any time, just as PC players are. Additionally, Plot Team will never put an NPC player in a situation where that NPC must agree to romantic roleplay if the player does not wish it.
NPCs should not, unless there is a prior agreement with the PC player, initiate romantic roleplay. NPCs are here to help PCs tell stories and to help Plot Team facilitate them.
Public displays of affection have a varying degree of appropriateness. Physical closeness and touching can be part of romantic roleplay, but there is a fine line between what is and isn’t allowed in game. In addition to the “red rope” discussed in Fade to Black Roleplay in the rulebook, we would like to call out things that are never allowed in gamespace.
Groping, excessive touching of areas that are not the hands, arms, shoulders, face, and mid section of a player
Excessive, repeated kissing/making out
Any sexual acts involving sexual organs
Please also keep in line with the list of Disallowed Roleplay and Conduct in the rulebook. Specifically: All sexual acts and actions that are not consensual between characters is strictly forbidden, regardless of utilizing Fade to Black: there is no sexual assault or sexual abuse allowed within this game.
As stated in our LARP Bleed article available through our New Player Guide, bleed is important to always be aware of. Bleed is when something happens Out Of Character (OOC) affects your In Character (IC) experience, or something happens IC that affects you OOC. Sarah Lynne Bowman in this article defines it as “moments where their real life feelings, thoughts, relationships, and physical states spill over into their characters’ and vice versa.”
As Bowman says, and we agree, bleed isn’t definitively positive or negative - it can be either or a mix of both. What matters most is how someone can handle it and what actions they take to address it. Both positive and negative bleed can lead to some great moments of introspection and understanding among fellow players. However, both positive and negative bleed can also lead to complicated feelings, strained relationships and friendships, emotional reactions, or even sometimes inappropriate actions - all of which a player wouldn’t engage in otherwise. Since romantic roleplay is so personal and deals with heightened emotions, the dangers of bleed are often intensified, especially in high-immersion games.
On top of this, there is the possibility that roleplay can lead to “LARP crushes.” LARP crushes differ from normal crushes as they are OOG crushes that are prompted by character roleplay. These aren’t inherently bad - they can lead to some lasting friendships and relationships - but they are often created by bleed. It is important to keep in mind that IG relationships are not OOG relationships, and nothing should be assumed about OOG feelings based on IG situations.
Like regular bleed, romantic bleed can be difficult to manage on your own, which is why we encourage reaching out to others, especially the one(s) involved in the roleplay. Communicating frequently and openly is key to keeping everyone safe. For more information on how to manage bleed, please see our article and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
For further reference, please also see this article on LARP crushes by Sanne Harder here.
Last Updated: May 2025